Times have Changed

Today I was studying the word of God and I read 1 Samuel 1-7. On your own you may read that passage yourself but for the purpose of this blog and my point I will paraphrase it for you. Samuel had just been given instruction to go to Jesse's house to anoint one of his sons as the new King of Israel. Now, for the sake of back story, Saul was currently King and Samuel was his prophet. Prophets were appointed by God to serve the king. So here Samuel is on a covert operation to find someone else whom he knows nothing about but is to anoint as the new king to carry out God's plan for Israel. Talk about scary but obedience was truly better than scarifies so off Samuel went. He gets to Jesse's house and here's the plot twist, he couldn't let the town know what he was doing. So he invited them all to bring scarifies to the Lord and Samuel took a heifer as if he was making a sacrifice too. So here he is at Jesse's house and everybody is nervous because this is like having the President's Aid but greater than that at your house, so you do what they say to make a good impression. Samuel had strict instructions what to look for but not a name. So he had to listen to God's voice throughout this endeavor to get this thing right. God told Samuel, don't look at his appearance or his physical statue because I don't want that. in other words, that isn't what I am looking for "THIS TIME". He was giving Samuel a new perspective for what was about to take place and it surely was not what everyone else was accustom to, but that was God's business and all Samuel needed to do was execute plan. God was looking for something different, something that was missing from the first King and that was what was on the inside of a man, his heart. Although the heart may be deceitful at times, God was looking for someone who would love Him more and thus follow His plan for His people. Finally, after Jesse sent all of his sons to Samuel they met David. The not yet ready, future King David. The David that made mistakes but still loved God David. The David who was out tending the sheep unaware of what was about to happen to his life David. The little David who fought the giant Goliath fearlessly and was also the David who had to run for his life because once word got out that it was he who would succeed King Saul he became a threat. I could go on and on about David but I want to stick close to my point here and that is to not miss an assignment because your perspective is to antiquated for your obedience. God had to ask Samuel, how long was he going to mourn Saul since He had rejected him as king? God had removed His grace and anointing from Saul and was ready to move on before Samuel was ready to give up hope that it was over for Saul. Not only that, God's choice for the future King had not fully grown into what everyone would consider King material. But God saw it. David's father didn't see it, Samuel didn't see it nor did David's brothers see it but God saw exactly what was in David's heart. King Material.

Here is the thing, following man, the crowd, status quo, business as usual, the norm, how things look can cost you your crown. It could cost you your seat at the table. Right now is not the time to shrink because things are hectic around you or you think you may not be qualified for the job. This is the exact time that just saying yes to the call could change the trajectory of your life and move you from the field to the head of the table. This could be the very time your boss or that hiring manager or that investor has decided to go with those who have the heart to win and be taught the rest, because make no mistakes about it, winning takes heart. Discern the times and know when it is your call to move.

I found myself waiting.

I came into this year at the block, foot into position, listening for the sound of the gun so I could take off running the 2020 race. I was ready to go! I did all that I felt I needed to do to be in this position to guarantee a great start of a new decade for myself. I prayed, planned, praised, sowed, ran, kicked and jumped. I counted down the new year church style focused and ready to go. All has been quiet around me so that I could hear the sound I needed to hear that would set my feet into motion. January, gone. No sound. February, gone. No sound. I am eleven days into March, and something has clicked in my head louder than any bang or sound of a gun or whistle or bell. WHAT AM I WAITING ON? I just realized that what I felt I needed to hear was the sound of what you would listen for or need if you were following God’s commands on your own, without faith. You would need to wait until you got a better paying job if you were waiting to follow your dreams without faith. You would need to be in a better relationship with your family and friends if you were waiting on a better support system other than what God would provide. You would need to hear something to give you hope of stability if you were waiting without God. So, I am asking myself again, exactly what are you waiting on? To feel better, see things clearer, for the job interview, the call back, the pounds to drop on their own?

Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.

Psalm 27:14

This is David speaking to himself. He was not waiting idly for a sound but waiting with expectancy. With movement, in motion. He knew that conditions were not always favorable, nor would they be, but his desire was to hope and trust in God that with every step towards his goals, God would deliver. His waiting was in the presence of God who had already made a way for him. David would trust that His timing was perfect and that his preparation would meet God’s opportunities. Waiting is not something you do sitting still, it should find you doing what is required for the promise, the dream, for your destiny.

This says to me that I am not to wait anymore for money to fund the deal; make the product and meet God at the opportunity. Do not wait any longer for them to call you back, continue moving forward with the vision given to you and allow God’s favor to meet the need.

This year is full of opportunity that you’ve already prepared for which means that there is no time to sit still and wait. The bang of the gun went off in your soul when God downloaded the vision. There will be no other sound to wait for, you’ve been given the go to leave the block long ago. Move forward. Your wait is over.

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UPDATE ALERT:

So, I wrote this blog post right before I left for my family vacation back in March/Spring Break 2020. I returned to town the day that the shelter-in-place order was given by the state, shoot, who am I kidding... "the world". We were in a freaking GLOBAL PANDEMIC!!!!!!!

I could not wrap my mind around this but staying put was the order given. I did that for sure but I had a hard time resting because I still felt the tug in my soul that I was to wait on no one. If this was still my desire then that meant I would have to go back into the throne room and find out from God exactly how I was to get the things done He has been pressing me to do. For some reason I was calm, no anxiety although what was going on around me was for sure the recipe for it. Any other time this would have laid me out but I believe God prepared me. Mentally I was ready and at peace. Scarcity was not troubling me.

I got the things I needed and became creative and resourceful of the other. I could give so many scriptures relating to this but the need for my testimony will suffice and that was that my trust in God HAD to kick in, it had to. The need for my patience and perseverance was a must because while others were burrowing in, I was digging out and moving forward with my plans, God's plans for my life, my destiny. I just needed to yield. This made me have to stick close, listen, watch and pray way more than what I was use to but guess what... I had the time. The time during my long walks, my long quiet mornings, the time over what seemed to be three and four day weekend holidays with no holiday in sight. I took advantage of this time with God because I needed Him more to calm my nerves, to give direction, to extend His favor. I took the time to be more specific in my communication with God through prayer. For weeks over months those prayers started to manifest and things have started to move fast and forward. During such a devastating time it would be hard to believe that God was actually moving. Prayers that I left or abandoned years ago were brought back up during my worship with God and now have started to manifest. My obedience was necessary for these blessings and now I am a firm believer that if I had waited any longer my delayed response to God's tug before this pandemic would have been sheer disobedience and now I would not be enjoying the fruits of my labor.

I Have Never Cried So Much!

Whew, what is “trying” supposed to look like? I am trying so hard but feel like I haven’t made it anywhere. So, should I have said, what is “trying supposed to feel like? See, I made a decision to get up and move a while ago. I wanted to move from where I was in my thinking, my behavior, my daily practices.... I wanted everything to be different. I had grown so negative, slowful and unmotivated. This behavior came from constant struggles, so I learned to play dead and maybe struggles would leave me alone. Maybe I wouldn’t be so depressed or frustrated if I didn’t try anymore. That behavior only brought on more frustration and heartache and even left me lonely at times because who wanted to be around someone who was so unhappy. It is almost like the sicker you are, the sicker you get. So, I started feeding myself daily what my mind, soul and spirit needed to nourish itself back to health.

Now I’m moving, believing and hoping again. As crazy as this may sound my journey is taking right and left turns working out of me the things that constantly kept me down. Perpetual triggers are very present with glowing reminders that one day off could swing me right back into an abyss. I have to tell myself now, this is only a test. I have to remind myself why I got up in the first place and even more so now, I have to remind myself that I do not want to go back.

I enjoy walking on trails now. This has been one of my passions that had brought me life and metaphorically speaks to me constantly how life works. On my favorite trail, if you start it you must see it through because there are no other linking shorter trails to connect to should the trail pose too much for you. Your choices are either to take your time, rest a little but keeping steady until the end. No one is coming to get you because it is also the most unstable trail and it would be near impossible to carry you out. You would have to see it through just how you started. Also, turning back halfway in would be the same as continuing on except you would feel the defeat in knowing you didn’t make it. So now it’s you and the unstable terrain under your feet with a little determination in your gut that you have to do this now. What I love so much about it all is that if I didn’t focus on what was behind me and think about what was ahead and the beauty that was around me, that journey posed less a struggle and a threat.

Right before you would even feel like you just couldn’t take it anymore thoughts of others passing you with ease or shall I say a little less struggle than myself sends a tinge of encouragement but more so the thought that I’ve made it through this before myself changes my mind about what I am experiencing in that moment.

With tears in my eyes, deep long breathes and sweat bubbling on my face, I keep pressing because I know I am hurting right now but it won’t last long and soon I would have made it out. Doing now what I love I realized that this journey wouldn’t be void of tears and heartache. They would all still be there. I have never cried so much moving forward, continuing on, not stopping, feeling the burn of having to push myself to new limits. I cry now more than I ever have but there is a difference. I am not anymore, I am in motion.